How Not to Pitch People on the Internet

Since I started a personal brand on the Internet in 2020, my inbox has been… interesting. For every cool opportunity that comes in, there are about 50 f*ck no’s.

I’ve gotten pretty good at filtering out the duds pretty quickly.

The unfortunate part is that a lot of them are founders and freelancers who may very well have excellent products and services — but I’ll never know it, because they totally blew it on the very first email.

Cold outreach isn’t a bad strategy, but it requires finesse. Your email should feel like a handwritten note on parchment with a wax seal, not a pop-up ad screaming for attention.

If you want to send cold pitches that actually land, avoid these 3 mistakes:

Your email is mind-numbingly generic 🥱

A template does not exempt you from doing research on the person you’re emailing.

Make sure you address them by name (not their username) and spell it correctly (f*cking obviously). 1 out of every 5 emails I receive either doesn’t put a name, uses my username, or spells it wrong. It’s not a great first impression.

Once you’ve spelled their name correctly, make sure the introductory paragraph is personalized. Don’t half-ass this part. Something like, “I love your content, the topics you talk about are great!” reads as a template. Take 10 minutes to research, look at what they’re doing, and write a couple sentences that actually mean something. Make this part genuine — it’s always obvious when people copy & paste buzz words from my IG bio.

Before you hit send, make sure any signs of it being a template are gone. Remove any extra spaces or commas and make sure the font is entirely the same. Emails that look like they’re patched together using Elmer’s glue are… just not the move.

Your email is not clear enough 🤨

If the person you’re emailing doesn’t know wtf you’re talking about, they’re not going to spend time trying to figure it out. If you have a great product or service to pitch, don’t leave it up to the recipient to learn about it on their own. If they have to do their own research just to understand your email, they probably won’t do it.

In the first email, provide enough context and information so that your pitch completely makes sense. Don’t assume that they have any clue who you are, what you want, or any context for why you’re in their inbox. Explain why you’re reaching out to them, specifically.

Make sure everything is clickable. That way, if your pitch was good and they feel like taking a few minutes to learn more about your background or business, it’s easy to do so. When you’ve caught the recipient’s attention for a few seconds, make it easy for them to check out your corner of the internet.

Your email is all about you 🫵

The person you’re emailing probably has more emails than they can manage, so you have to make sure the value is explicitly clear. Don’t expect people to care about the success of your business — tell them why they should say yes to you by explaining what’s in it for them. If you want access to their time, energy, resources, or business, present a good case!

Before you hit send, imagine the very real human being who’s going to be getting the notification while they’re in the middle of something else, scrolling their email before bed, or in line at the grocery store. Is your email worth a reply?

Cold pitching is an art that hinges on personalization, clarity, and value. Your email is landing in someone’s inbox, so treat it with care. A little extra effort can be the difference between landing an opportunity or getting ignored. Before you hit send, make sure your pitch is worth the reply you're hoping for.